you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
