I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
