So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
