May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
