If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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