When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
