Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
operation harelip BJ is a go
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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