No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize