Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
