We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
