The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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