your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
