I didn't shave. On purpose
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
