I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize