Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
