didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
