id be glad to
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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