OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize