so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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