your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
