We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
