A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
