I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i believe in u and ur pee
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
