and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize