it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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