We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
