May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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