names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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