i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
