is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
