Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
