She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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