at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pants 0. Shit 1.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
