I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How external is "for external use only"?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
