Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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