I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
