i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
