how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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