We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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