There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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