it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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