i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
