dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
