He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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