dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
