508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
