We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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