Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She's the barista slut.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
