i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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