it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You can't special order awesome
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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