I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
