He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
