And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
