Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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