Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
