Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
