You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The beer is more important than you right now.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
