i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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