All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
