Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize