hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
