I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
