Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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