omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
