so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize