I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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