I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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