I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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