Me too!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
