i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
