How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
