If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
