i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just had sex on a roof
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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