Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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