Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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