he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
