Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
