Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize