he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
