***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
