The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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