I hate your face
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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