sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
