I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
