it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
